So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
