My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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