Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Everything about him screamed your future.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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