If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
