Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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