wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
