he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
