tell your sister to shave her snatch
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize