did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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