you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
