Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize