Your tits are I can't wait for
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
