I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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