why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
