Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
