She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
