i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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