What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
