She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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