scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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