ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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