I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize