So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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