I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dick very happy bro
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
