I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
