Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's shark week go big or go home
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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