He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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