it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
