That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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