im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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