you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
