this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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