Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
