Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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