We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
