We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
