Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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