Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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