Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
