I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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