are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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