he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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