he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
