I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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