that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
