i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
