It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize