you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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