Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
