Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
