maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
