I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
actually, I'm a sock model
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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