i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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