So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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