you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
