someone owes me an orgasm
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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