Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize