there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
