I think I won the penis lottery.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize