So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
