I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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