Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
handjob tips. give me some.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
