hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
