i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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