I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
