You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
