He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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