Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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