Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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