I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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