I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
